What does real black women want from men?

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A while back ago I blogged about the wants of a real man http://www.blasianton.com/node/118

Since this community is predominantly female, our female community members please comment chain on this blog on what does black women want from a real man. Now this does not have to be specifically towards Asian men, this can be a general answer, it is all up to you. When there is a good collection of comment, this will be made into a feature on this community.

The goal of this will be to have this information free and open for Asian men / men in general, to understand what black women or what women wants from a real man. For the good husbands out there, we have a better idea of what women want; but for the single man out there, they are really clueless. So why not do a good deed and in the process promote our community further.

Please remember communication is the basic path to understanding. We must do our part to spread the knowledge of Blasianton wisdom.

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Ivy's picture

I don't have much to say since I've never been in a relationship, but is it enough to just say, "Don't anger me?" xD

JaydeDragon's picture

Okay, here's the thing. Only YOU know what you want and it's not going to come to you on the fly. You will have to sit down and give this some serious thought. Does he have similar likes or interests as you? How do you want him to treat you? What are your expectations? These are things you know. They're there. You just have to bring them out. Doe he have similar goals? Physical requirements? These are the things you will have to ask and also think in terms of what's important to you and what is a deal breaker for you to not go out with him. I hope this sheds some light on the subject for you.

ForeLone's picture

Quite alright, there is no wrong answer.

What if I asked you this question. What do you look for in a male friend?

Ivy's picture

I don't necessarily look for male friends - or friends at all, really. I have maybe... two male friends? The rest are mostly acquaintances I met in school (old and/or current) or through something anime related like a convention. I guess just like any other relationship, I look for shared interests and/or experiences.

ForeLone's picture

That I can relate to. I only have one friend, everyone else are acquaintances or people from work.

Well anime could be one of your requirement...

Ivy's picture

LoL. That would be a tricky requirement. I've seen some people bond over it, but just like anything else in life, there are different sides to it. There have been guys I associated with in high school who liked my favorite anime, DBZ, but they were total d-bags elitists. Usually male anime fans are either that or too shy to talk to people.

ForeLone's picture

Lol dbz! Who does not like dbz. That is a very easy requirement. You should not have any problems looking for a compatible Asian male with that interest.

I got hook on to dbz when my older brother brought home the Korean version back in the mid 90's. Ever since cartoon network's re- boardcast in English, it has made it easy for me to follow the story.

Ivy's picture

LoL. I know it's a common fave. :P I'm currently "re-watching" it on TV, but it's DBZ: Kai. It's basically a shortened version of the show, so less random episodes and shortened fight times.

KalleyC's picture

What a real black woman is looking for a man. Hmm, for me I would say he would need to be able to do the following:

- Lead. Handle situations that needs handling.

- Respects me. It's a two way street, he needs to respect me, but I know I have to respect him as well.

- Understand my desires and wants in the world. But don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for him to fulfill my every desire. There are things that he could strive for to please me, but as a woman, I need to be able to fulfill my own goals as well. Same goes for him.

- Not afraid to discuss decisions. I don't think it's only a one person in a relationship, but both people need to be happy with what's going on. So, he needs to be able to talk to me about what he plans on doing, or would like to do, and I need to be able to do the same. It doesn't end with, "because I said so." or "I don't want it, so therefore, you're not going to do it." Neither party wants to hear that, and no one wants to be controlled.

- Active parenting. It's one thing to be a daddy, it's another story being a father. The first only requires DNA, the second requires parenting. I want a man who is not afraid to get dirty with the kids. Parenting, playing, help cleaning them up. It's not just a woman's job it takes two.

- Has to know when to ask for help. I don't think it's a sign of weakness, but if he truly needs help doing something (and not asking because he doesn't want to) then I think it's a sign of strength to know where your limitations are.

- Help out around the home. Not asking him to perform spring cleaning but clearing the table, doing dishes. Or, if I'm doing dishes, he could dry them and put them away. Nothing turns a woman on more than seeing her man doing work around the home.

- Knowing when to stop talking and just listen. He needs to know the difference between asking for advice and looking for someone to talk to. Even if it means I tell him the beginning: "I'm not looking for you to solve this issue, just listen." Sometimes a guy feels like he needs to solve all our conversations. He doesn't. Just listen sometimes.

Hmm...I think I can stop there. I'm sure there's more, but my daughter is ready to attack my laptop.

JaydeDragon's picture

This question varies of course as every Black woman has different things that she wants. For me, I'm a creative or eclectic personality. I'm a determined person which means I do my best to accomplish goals that I have. What I want is for a man to accept me for me. I want someone who is equally yoked with me. In saying that, here is a list of my wants (I hate lists but this is how I can put forth my wishes):

*creative (he can come up with a solution to any problem with a creative angle)
*great sense of humor (love a guy who can make me laugh)
*physically fit and takes care of his health (someone who lifts weights would be nice :)
*great with kids (enough said here)
*a Christian (I'd like someone on the same page as I am)
*generous in that he gives back to his community and the world
*has a sense of adventure (no he doesn't have to jump off a cliff but you get the idea)
*romantic and passionate (I'm also this way)
*has dreams and goals and works to make them come true.

This is just me. Thanks for asking us. Now you no longer have to guess. Oh yeah support my career choices.